first steps

Path by Skinnyde. First steps on a new journey are always difficult for me. It's not so much a matter of physically--or mentally--taking the first step; It's about getting to the first step. I usually pack my bags ten minutes before loading into the car. Whether I start two hours or ten minutes ahead of time, I will be packing until the minute of my departure. That's why the first steps on a new journey are always difficult--I am a prepare-aholic. But don't worry. I've been sober for years.

Gearing up for this new chapter of the website has been intimidating and exciting. Somewhere along the way I got it into my head that I wanted to become a writer. While I have wanted to be more intentional about my writing, I'm also setting myself up for more critique. Before, if I wrote a post, "I got sick on something toady", people would just wonder what made me sick, not decide I should never type again since I can't spell "today".


And then, even if I am suddlenly able to write like Annie Dillard or Thomas Merton, I wonder if I will have enough to say. My heart and mind have been busting at the seams, begging me to set loose all these captive thoughts. But when I sit down to write, I don't know what I want to say. Well, I know what I want to say, but I don't know how to say it. Ok, I know how to say it, but I don't know where to start--how to take that first step.  



This is the journey. There is no more time to pack or plan or preapare. It's time to take the first step.